Why you so gay
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It’s better to say something, even if it’s a simple, brief response. Ultimately, the goal is to reduce and prevent the use of anti-LGBT language in an effort to create a more positive environment for LGBT teens. Isn’t that great?”
Now, she was a lovely woman, and I’m sure she had no harmful intent with her words, but she obviously had no awareness of their effect on me, a Jewish man—which she knew I was.
I played sports casually, but I didn’t like sports enough. Work on loving yourself and finding what makes you happy.
This post originally appeared on Medium and is edited and republished with author's permission. This attraction can be to men, women, or people of any gender identity.
The lack of intervention from school authorities only exacerbates the harassment LGBTQ+ students face, which includes verbal (60.7%), physical (22.4%), and sexual harassment (53.7%).
Addressing the Harm of "That's So Gay" in Everyday Conversations
Given the troubling statistics and persistent use of harmful language like "that's so gay," it's clear that something must be done to address its impact.
I answered honestly but was also sure to explain that everyone in my class was welcome.
I’ve had students tell me at different points in the year that they thought I was gay. Every year I have students come to me when they do not feel comfortable talking to anyone else.
This often includes LGBT students, but I recently spoke to a student that identifies as a straight cis male that felt he could not be himself because he did not want to be called gay.
He wanted to do simple things like paint his nails and wear makeup.
And nearly one in five students even reported changing schools due to feeling unsafe.
The situation is further compounded by the behavior of school staff.
The LGBTQ+ community is diverse, encompassing many gender identities and sexualities. I remember eventually asking my mother about it.
She was angry enough that I feared for my cousin, but she told me I walked normally. While straight people are not part of the LGBTQ+ community, they play an important role as allies in supporting and advocating for LGBTQ+ rights.
Am I LGBT? Despite the way I view myself, my students often think I am gay.
I used to always start the year by allowing students to ask me questions about myself. Sexuality exists on a spectrum, and it’s completely normal to take time to figure out where you feel most comfortable. Kort emphasizes the importance of understanding the power of language, noting that while many people equate terms like LGBTQ+ with adult sexuality, for LGBTQ+ youth, the term has nothing to do with that and often reflects feelings of invisibility.
When most people hear the term LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual or transsexual), for instance, they equate it to having adult sex. This is a core part of their identity. I forgive you, but it did shame me.”
I hear stories like these in my office every day. It should be the same at home, but the truth is many parents are unaware of how damaging their use of language can be.
But parents who are enough aware of language’s substrata can help by helping their kids’ schools understand the value of practicing the same kind of zero tolerance for homophobic language that they do for racist or anti-Semitic or bullying language.
The best thing I have seen is the campaign “ThinkB4YouSpeak” by GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian School Educator Network).
Being intentional with our words helps create more respectful and inclusive spaces for everyone.
The Power of Mindful Language
When faced with situations where phrases like "that's so gay" are used, it’s easy to retreat or respond defensively without taking the time to address the issue thoughtfully. It's part of your identity.
Whether you are a man, woman, or identify with another gender, your identity is important.