Listen to Gageās story of coming out and hear more about our relationship history!
Relationship and dating in the community
Dating and relationships can be hard! In this podcast we will break it down for you!
Navigating the gay community and the journey of coming out can have itās challenges. Today Iām breaking down some of my tips on how to leave them and recognize your situations. I just wanted to talk about some things Iāve been going through recently in hopes that others can relate as well!
Protecting yourself sexually
Protecting yourself from STDs can be complicated and uncomfortable to talk about.
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With your support, I can offer more robust content featuring various (and possibly exotic) locations!
Even though we support each other in the community there can still be hate within.
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Guys spill the beans on how they lost their virginity
The giddy thrill of mutual attraction, the intoxicating buzz of transgression, that pure and perfect climax.
Itās true what they say āĀ you never forget your first time.
3 men discuss their first orgasm
And sure, it isnāt always scintillating or special, but itās a memory we nonetheless carry with us for the rest of our lives.
Metro.co.uk caught up with three guys eager to share their funny, gross and downright adorable cherry-popping yarns.
NSFW, pretty much.
Against a fire door, on the 22nd floor
By RS
During my mid-teens I worked as a paperboy.
Iād arrive at the cornershop about 6:30am to sort out my round ā double-checking addresses, inserting supplements into the broadsheets, that sort of thing.
The other delivery staff would be there as well ā including, for a few brief and wonderful weeks in late 1998, a girl named Carla.
Iād try out my woefully inexpert flirting on her, sheād sometimes laugh, Iād often blush.
Then Iād tip the pile of papers into my sack and head out into the cold morning.
My round included a row of rather ropey tower blocks, so Iād spend a lot of time in smelly lifts going up and down flicking through the grubby tabloids in my bag.
One day, presumably distracted by a feature on the Spice Girls (very much my thing at the time), I accidentally posted a Daily Star into the wrong letterbox.
The cantankerous old hag wasted zero time calling the shop, outraged, so at the end of my round, the shopkeeper insisted I go back and deliver her paper as promised.
On my way back to the estate, I bumped into the lovely Carla, whoād just finished her much cushier round.
She offered to accompany me as I made the extra drop-off.
In the lift āĀ which genuinely stank of piss, and took an age to get to the 22nd floor ā Carla began kissing and groping me.
It was great āĀ she tasted of strawberry Hubba Bubba.
Having stumbled out onto the correct floor (and delivered the paper like a pro), she dragged me into the fire escape stairway, dropped her Adidas poppers to the lino, unzipped my fly and pulled me into her.
It was brief, urgent, hurried.
I went up that tower block a boy, and came down it a man.
A man with spunk on his Reebok Classics.
A case of sibling extortion
By JS
Jessica was a posh girl with an infuriating family.
Wining and dining her cost me a fortune, considering I was only a warehouse gimp at the time.
After about three months she informed me she was āconsidering taking things to the next levelā, but the onus was on me to sort it all out and make sure it was perfect.
My parentās house was a no go ā mum never left the place, when we were there, and besides, Jessica preferred to stay in Chigwell unless absolutely necessary.
Her massive pad was ideal, but her sister āĀ about five years older, never kissed a boy ā took it upon herself to cockblock at every opportunity.
After three successive weekends of sis refusing to leave us in peace, I basically bribed her to go to the cinema.
Knowing full well she was in a position to name her price, the wretched girl even strongarmed me into treating her pram-faced mates to a post-film Nandoās.
That was a weekās wages for me back then, but slave to my hormones that I was, I gladly handed over the dosh.
At least that gave me and Jessica a good four hours to go at it.
She bled, which was unfortunate, and everything smelled of latex, but I thought it was poetic, tender and even a bit magical.
Hear from my mom about having a gay son and how she has come to be an AMAZING ally to the community! Follow along this journey to hear more!
Available on
The Say Gay PodcastApr 12, 2023
After taking a week off Iām back!
Being your authentic self
Today letās chat about being your true self and not caring about judgement from others. Youāll hear real life LGBTQ+ stories and get the advice you may need to fully live your authentic life!
In todayās episode, my best friend, Allie, and I talk about our experiences when we lost our virginity (but not by each other).
We compare how it feels for a straight woman versus a gay man.
A chat about mental health š¤
Lately I have been going through it so I wanted to chat about mental health and some struggles I have been dealing with and let you know itās completely normal to feel that way.
Dealing with homophobic friends & family
Learn how to deal with any unsupportive people in your life and hear some free resources that you can use to reach out if you are struggling.
Accepting and figuring out your sexuality
This weeks episode we are talking about trying to fit in to what the ānormā is, figuring out your sexuality and what that looks like and truly accepting yourself for who you are!
Listen while I take you on my journey of coming out and things I have personally dealt with!
Welcome to The Say Gay Podcast!
Today letās chat about toxic people as well as true friends in life.
Coming out can be scary so here are some of my personal tips on coming out on your time!
Took some time off but Iām back besties! From now until the end of Pride Month (June), Iām offering a 50% discounted subscription of only $4 a month or $40 for the whole year!
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Letās chat about some tips that I have and experiences from my dating life!
Coming out journey with my boyfriend Nikk
Hear from my boyfriend Nikk about his journey of coming out and what he went through! 18+
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Welcome to the first episode of the podcast!
If you have ever felt left out or like an outcast in certain settings this episode is for you.
Navigating friendships is almost as hard as a relationship. I fell in love with her.
She ghosted me later that week.
Bitch.
Between villages
By RC
I grew up gay in a tiny Somerset village.
Well, somebody had to.
While all my friends were copping off in fields, I stayed home playing video games.
One girl at school said she was bi and tried it on with me a few times.
As much to shut her up as anything, I told her I only liked men.
Like an angel, she told me about another boy in a nearby village who was the same.
She gave me his number, we texted back and forth.
One summer night we met, on a crossroads by a field.
The only light was moonlight ā our only soundtrack the washing-machine rumble of the nearby A361.
We held hands, shared a cigarette, and gently gave ourselves to each other.
It was his first time too, so we were both clumsy, uncertain but forgiving of each other.
Though we never saw each other again after that, I walked home feeling 10 feet taller.
Maybe a few years down the line Iād have experienced my first time at uni, or in a club or whatever.
Iām glad it was him, then.
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We also discuss how women experience āblue balls.ā
If youāre a free subscriber and youāve been following me for a while, I hope youāve enjoyed my content thus far. Yeah, Iād got off with girls, but I was a virgin until I went inside a girl at 15.ā
How does a straight woman lose her virginity?
By having an erect penis enter her vagina; pretty much the inverse of the straight male experience.
Like their male counterparts, the straight-female group also viewed non-penetrative trysts as āheavy petting.ā
Medically speaking theyāre not wrong; a willy injection does define a femaleās virgin-free status.
But this isnāt the only reasoning.
In some cases, having penetration as the definitive ādoing it,ā makes other acts feel less intimidating.
It also allows girls to explore their sexuality while assigning particular significance to their āofficialā first time.
This was the case with Laura, 23, who says:Ā āIt was important to me that I lost my virginity to someone I loved.
āUntil I met my first serious boyfriend at 19, I was an āeverything butā girl.ā
As well as putting penetration on a pedestal, this group also considered some insertions more valid than others.
Apparently, some instances didnāt count as sex because āit slipped in by mistakeā, or āwe were just testing it outā.
Again, this seems to be a way of ensuring the first time fits with the girlās criteria.
A little unusual perhaps, but, in a society where guys earn their man-card while women are deflowered, not altogether surprising.
What has a hymen got to do with female virginity?
Sod all.
When female virginity guaranteed paternity and freedom from STDs, an imperforate hymen was a handy āintact-o-meter.ā
This was the premise for the ceremonial hanging of bloody sheets from the battlements for all to see.
Realistically, this thin membrane can be easily ruptured by exercise, tampons or even plain old growth spurts.
It has no bearing on sexual experience.
However, for those determined to bust-a-hyme on their wedding night, there is a growing market in hymenoplasties.
For straight couples, does having anal sex count as losing your virginity?
If you want it to.
Thereās no accepted definition for how bum sex relates to virginity, so itās pretty much up to the individual.
In some religious communities, unmarried women go āeverything buttā as a means of safeguarding their technical virginity for marriage.
Thereās method to this madness.
If we view virginity primarily as an absence of sexual contact, it could be considered that we have several virginities, from kissing to boob squeezing.
So, as a woman you can be an anal aficionado but concurrently a vaginal virgin, or you can view the experience as absolute departure from Virgin Town.
The same goes for a man as the penetrative party in a botty bonanza.
How do lesbians lose their virginity?
By having sex with another woman.
In our heteronormative society, however, thereās a complete lack of discourse as to what constitutes sex between two women.
The one plus side is this gives the individual free rein to define their own sexual experience.
Shelley, 31, lost her virginity the first time she had mutual genital contact with another woman, whereas Helen, 22, broke the seal the first time she went down on a girl.
Some women lost their virginity the first time a partner brought them to orgasm, while others lost it the first time they were penetrated by fingers, toys or a tongue.
A myriad of Sapphic options.
Understandably, a recurring theme from our lesbian test group was intimacy being a defining factor.
As Leah, 26 explains: āI first āsleptā with a man, but personally feel I lost my virginity to a female.
āIt was that emotional connection with someone.ā
This is seconded by Anna-Maria, 26, who says: āIād kissed/made out with a woman before, but the first time I had sex it was the intimacy that set it apart.ā
How do gay men lose their virginity?
By having sex with another man.
Unlike lesbian nookie, there are points of reference regarding guy-on-guy sex, but these tend to revolve around anal penetration.
This is pretty reductive as only about 40 per cent of gay men areĀ anally inclined.
One such man is Anthony, 35 who says:Ā āThereās certainly too much emphasis upon anal as the definitive sex act between gay males.
Personally I feel my body is not built to enjoy it, either āactivelyā or āpassively.ā
As for my first time, it was a huge leap and I canāt even remember whether we went as far as oral sex or just mutual masturbation.
But importantly, it was the whole act, including the kissing and cuddling, that contributed to losing my virginity.ā
Due to the physical logistics and often categorical preferences (power-bottom, side, versatile etc), there are countless virginity-busting scenarios here.
Aaron, 29, broke his duck the first time he received oral sex, whereas for Gavin, 30, it was the first time he orgasmed with a partner.
Not to be dismissive of the old penetrative rumpy-pumpy.
Some of our test group did indeed lose their virginity this way,Ā butĀ considered part it of their first sexperience, rather than the qualifying factor.
As we said at the beginning, itās highly subjective.
We can confirm that losing your virginity typically involves another person, genital contact and touching with the intent of causing and/or receiving sexual pleasure.
Otherwise, it really depends upon context, you and your partnerās boundaries, physical capabilities and, most importantly, how you feel.
Trust your instincts and, if theyāre telling you that youāve lost your virginity,Ā chances are you have.
We do hope you enjoyed yourself.
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Iāll tell yāall whatās been going on and why I havenāt posted! Happy last week of pride month friends š³ļøāš
Feeling socially drained lately so hereās a little check in for all yāall that feel overwhelmed sometimes.