Gay masculinity

Groupishness is in our genes and, as a result, men need to feel they share common ground with other men.

Since moving to Palm Springs, a city with America’s first entirely LGBT city council, I’ve discovered such groupishness all around me. In short, gay men are much more like straight men than we usually think.

Sexuality.

We enjoy belonging to a group of men who are like us and no doubt we need it. Terms like “masc for masc” and “no fems” continue to circulate on dating apps, reinforcing the idea that desirability is tied to adhering to a specific form of masculinity. Specifically, participants were in agreement that queer online spaces have become crucial for enabling sexual experimentation and identity formation.

While their struggles are not identical, there is significant overlap in their experiences of discrimination, objectification, and societal control. It tends to make us assertive, more narrowly focused, and more on the prowl for sex.

David explains how even as a white gay man he feels less pressure to “masc” himself online, saying that he would feel comfortable going out in drag while men of color might be stigmatized or fetishized for similar behavior.

This performance of masculinity can primarily be seen in the photos of users’ photos and their bios. Goddess-based traditions revered feminine power and even recognized queer individuals as spiritually significant. It’s commonplace to see 8-10 men out together on the town. For gay men, navigating this pressure can be especially challenging, as they live within and outside of these gender expectations.

While the LGBTQ+ community has made significant progress in embracing individuality, internalized biases persist.

I mean, that’s as true as you can be, but I try my best, you know? (I speak in generalities here; not all men or all women fit these descriptions.) Having a strong sex drive is a component of masculinity; gay and straight men feel drawn to different genders, but the drive is identical. Physical bravery has historically been associated with manliness.

Because users’ actions are measurable, gay dating apps are an incredibly fruitful place to study patterns of in-group discrimination. .

In the cult of Inanna in Sumeria, trans people were like divine.”

In modern times, many gay men connect with the feminine divine through popular culture figures who embody resilience, transformation, and unapologetic self-expression. From the action heroes of the 1980s to the rugged, muscular men in the work of Tom of Finland, these cultural representations reinforce the notion that masculinity is synonymous with strength, dominance, and emotional restraint.

Each small step, no matter how seemingly insignificant, leads toward a more genuine existence. Additionally, lawmakers and public health researchers should continue to view digital channels as highly effective and legitimate ways to spread awareness about mental health resources, HIV prevention, and the prevalence of suicide within the LGBT community. 

            This study had a number of limitations that provide opportunities for further study.

But I think when I first was on Tinder, I was afraid of people thinking I was too gay or that I had a gay voice. But I think as it as a person of color, you are judged for that. And so, when you’re online, that’s the really the only safe way we can find guys.

Many other men echoed Alex’s sentiment, expressing that because sexual orientation was openly established in online spaces like Tinder and Grindr, they did not have to worry about questioning whether or not another man was straight. 

            Participants overwhelmingly expressed that online spaces had a special and heightened role within the gay community, and that dating apps and social media fill a crucial need that their straight counterparts do not have to the same extent.

Some participants themselves talked about how they used to “buy into” mascing culture but have since have decided to reject mascing behaviors altogether. The importance of dating apps and other online spaces amongst the queer community raises questions about whether or not these spaces are equitable and, furthermore, what kinds of social dynamics and hierarchies exist online. 

Hypermasculinity and Hegemonic Masculinity Online

            The men who I interviewed overwhelmingly expressed that hyper-masculine and “straight-acting” men are glorified within gay spaces online and, furthermore, that deliberately making oneself appear more masculine online is a common practice.