Gay in the gym

One of the most visible manifestations of this is gym culture, which holds a unique place in the LGBTQ+ community. Especially navigating gym culture as a gay man in your 30s, 40s, or 50s. The experience of being mocked for not excelling at sports or trying to participate only to fail created lasting emotional scars for many.

By exploring this complex intersection, we can begin to unpack the ways gym culture shapes self-perception and impacts the emotional well-being of gay men.

The Evolution of Weightlifting and Gym Culture

According to BarBend, the official media partner of USA Weightlifting, weightlifting and gym culture have a rich history rooted in ancient civilizations.

Featuring Nautilus machines, a lively atmosphere of ABBA hits, and a fashion-forward aesthetic of tiny shorts and tube socks, the gym epitomized the blending of nightclub and fitness culture. It’s a powerful tool for managing anxiety and depression, common struggles for many gay men.

Building Confidence and Self-Esteem

Achieving fitness goals can significantly boost your confidence.

However, these groupings also highlight the tendency to oversimplify identities within the gay community. The gym allows you to work towards a body you feel proud of.

Social Connection and Community

The gym can also be a place to meet like-minded individuals and build connections. Now, as a personal trainer, I aim to be a similar example and create a fitness environment that shares the same Black Queer Joy with the world.

In cities like San Francisco, neighborhoods such as Polk Street, Eureka Valley, and the Castro became cultural epicenters, filled with young gay men proudly displaying their gym-sculpted physiques in tight jeans and t-shirts. This means listening to your body, giving it the rest it needs to heal, and fueling it with nutritious foods—without obsessing over numbers like the scale or body fat percentage.

Ultimately, fitness is about making choices that support your overall well-being.

From India and Persia to Greece and Rome, physical fitness was deeply intertwined with daily life and societal values. If more queer people had such an example in their life, maybe they too would build the same strength within themselves. The clanging weights, the perfectly sculpted bodies, and the unspoken gym etiquette were overwhelming.

As these fitness hubs proliferated, they became not just places for exercise but also spaces for community-building and self-expression.

Another critical figure was Richard Simmons, who founded the Anatomy Asylum in 1974. These early encounters in gym class can leave a deep sense of vulnerability, reinforcing societal messages that fitness spaces are reserved for those who conform to rigid gender expectations.

For queer individuals, the trauma of being bullied for their perceived gender nonconformity can be compounded by the realization that these experiences may follow them into adulthood.

I knew I needed to make a change. These societal constructs, while evolving, continue to influence how gay men view themselves and their place in the world.

A 2009 study in Psychology of Men & Masculinities explored the effects of masculine ideals on gay men. The focus should shift away from unattainable standards and toward the real goal: becoming a healthier version of yourself.

Others expressed discomfort with effeminate gay men and found themselves avoiding emotional expression out of fear of appearing unmasculine.

Gym Class Trauma and Its Lingering Effects on Queer Men

For many gay men, negative experiences with masculinity begin in childhood, particularly in gym class.