First time with a gay man

Stick to the basics:

• Wear clean, well-fitting clothes that align with your personal style
• Avoid dressing to fit a stereotype — stay true to yourself
• Practice good hygiene: shower, brush your teeth, and use deodorant

Confidence shines brightest when you feel comfortable in your own skin.

2. If you spot an error, please let us know.

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TODAY IS NOT AN EASY DAY

Queer press and books are forced into silence.
But we have something powerful on our side.
We’ve got you.

We spoke of art, love, and the human condition, our words weaving a tapestry of shared experiences and new perspectives. It turned out that to get close to a guy, I shouldn’t fight, but dance. It sparked my interest in the LGBTQ+ community, fostering a more open-minded and empathetic perspective. Here, laughter wasn’t just an expression; it was a symphony, a harmonious blend of voices that spoke of freedom and authenticity.

With my drink in hand, I settled into a corner, observing the ebb and flow of the crowd.

Offer stories about yourself too, and be okay with natural pauses.

4. Yet, stepping into this space, I became acutely aware of my own preconceptions and the subtle, unspoken boundaries that often govern social interactions.

The bar was a kaleidoscope of colours, textures, and sounds—the plush velvet seating juxtaposed against the industrial chic of exposed pipes and brick walls.

But avoid making it feel like a job interview. Give yourselves space to build a genuine bond. I engaged in conversations with complete strangers who, despite their unfamiliarity, exuded a warmth that felt inviting. But at the same time, the idea of striding into a gay venue for the first time can be intimidating for young LGBT+ people – especially anyone new to exploring their sexuality.

To find out what the experience means to people across Europe, we spoke to queer people from different countries and asked them to describe what their first visit to a gay club was like.

 

Jérémy Saint, 24, student, Paris

“It was New Year’s Eve, 2006.

Great first-date ideas include:

• A quiet coffee shop
• An LGBTQ-friendly bar or lounge
• Public spaces like parks, museums, or local markets

Your surroundings can make or break the date; a relaxed environment naturally helps keep the mood light and open.

Dress to Feel Good, Not to Impress

You don’t need to overdo it, but taking care of your appearance is key.

Sometimes, we would push the victim into the locker room. Show genuine interest without turning it into an interrogation. After the Date: What’s Next?

Send a Thoughtful Follow-Up Within a Day

No need to wait around for rules. Let the dialogue flow naturally.

Be Mindful of Physical Boundaries

If there’s chemistry, it’s fine to lean into it — at your date’s pace.

Keep the discussion focused on the present moment and your current connection.

Extra Tips for Gay Dating Success

Avoid Making Assumptions Based on Labels

Don’t box someone in with labels like “top,” “bottom,” “masc,” or “fem.” People are multi-dimensional.